Last Sunday, as Tochi drove the vehicle to church, it kept jerking vigorously and making a clanking sound. I feared that the tyres might give way or the engine might just fall out of place. At times, the engine revved in an unusual manner while other times, it slowed down on its own.
Tochi kept smiling and cracking weird jokes, trying his best to make me smile. He knew that going to church in his vehicle was always a bone of contention, in addition to my constant gabbling, but he always had his way.
“Why should we jump from one cab to the other when we have a car of our own. At least, we should be comfortable.”
Tochi always argued.
“A car?! Did I just hear you say we have a CAR? No! We have NO car. In fact, we have ZERO car. That car is as good as scrap!”
I wanted to scream those words out loud. I wanted him to understand how I felt. But no! I couldn’t. I held them in my thoughts, swallowed my pride and got into his car with a grumpy face. I knew that saying those words aloud would only break his fragile heart.
As we approached a traffic light, it turned red and we stopped. I looked out of the window to distract myself from the tension brewing in the car. Immediately, I noticed a red CRV. It seduced me. I longed for it. I wanted it. I was mesmerized by it. I nearly bolted out of my husband’s car and into the posh car.
I sized up the man at the driver’s seat. He was elegant; dressed in a black suit, a plain white shirt and a striped red tie. He looked like a pastor – a lovely one.
I went further to admire the lucky woman seated next to him. Although, I couldn’t get a perfect view, I could see her face. It was donned with a brilliant blend of contour, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, foundation, powder and lipstick. She looked fabulous.
At the back seat, their cute children – a boy and a girl – sat quietly. The boy looked like he was about six years old and the girl probably three or four. I smiled at her and she reciprocated, revealing a gap between her front teeth.
What I beheld – the posh car, the elegant man, the fabulous woman and the cute children – was my ideal definition of a happy married life. It was the life I had always dreamed of. I never prayed for something elaborate, just convenient and moderate.
“Godliness with contentment is great gain… be content with what you have”
I feigned ignorance.
I stared at the family for a while. I envied them. I lusted after what they had. I wanted to reach out and grab it from them. Their life was totally perfect.
Mine was jerking forward and backward in a clanking rickety car.
Perhaps, I didn’t pray hard enough.
…to be continued.