That was how Lizzy, my best friend, and I went for a wedding reception together……..
Lizzy is a very well bred and cultured girl, from a Christian home and just married for six months. She is still learning the nitty-gritties of marriage, climbing up and down the stairs of the first year phase of marriage and learning more about her man. She always has one thing or the other to jist with me about her home. Sometimes she will just let it out, all bare, as it is and when she notices the expression on my face as I listen, she will try to be courteous and keep some details to herself.
“See Becky, I’m not in anyway saying that my husband is a bad man. I’m just surprised….. I mean I didn’t expect him to react this way in such small matters.”
She always complains.
“My dear, marriage is a school of a lifetime. We learn, unlearn and relearn. Just take things one step at a time and by God’s grace, and His Holy Spirit guiding you, you will be able to master all these little complains. Besides, I hope you don’t go about talking to everyone about your husband like this? Not everyone will understand and you don’t need the counsel of everyone. It’s God, yourself and your husband in this business. Okay? ”
I advise her like a pro in the marriage business. With time, I know that she will learn to be a better wife. These things take time, learning and willingness to adjust. We all have our moments and by God, I am still learning and becoming a better wife and mother………
Okay oh! So this particular day, myself and my darling friend Lizzy are out for a friend’s reception. We go out in my car, where we get to bond and chatter away.
Getting to the venue, as usual, we are late. We walk through the crowd of people both inside and outside the venue, tactically searching for a good spot to seat and continue from where we left off. Alas! No perfect spot is found.
After some minutes of walking up and down the decorated open space, Liz spots an empty seat on a table for four where three efizzy looking ladies are seated already. She pauses.
“Are you sure you will be comfortable here? ”
I ask her.
“I’ll manage. It’s better than nothing.” She answers
“Okay then. Let me look for somewhere else to seat.”
I smile at her as she settles down and she gives me the ‘I’ll miss you’ look.
I peruse the characters on the table with my eyes, almost conducting an x-ray on them, something tells me they are bad company. I sigh and reluctantly leave my friend at the table. She is sitting at the edge of her seat, so I know she’s not so comfortable but there’s nothing either of us can do about it. I find an empty seat and quickly help myself.
Back at Lizzy’s table, a lot of conversation is going on among the three ladies about marriage and everything it entails.
“As for me, my husband knows me, he doesn’t try me oh! When I say ‘No’ it’s No! Make everybody maintain their local government oh! Many husband’s out there rape their wives in the name of sex and as a legal practitioner, I know my rights. I won’t take such nonsense from him. He knows.”
The other two at the table cheer and exchange a high-five.
The next one then goes:
“I’m not a slave and I’m not ready to engage in any form of slavery in marriage. I can’t do without the services of a nanny oh! Na only me waka come? If he doesn’t want nanny, we share the house chores fifty-fifty. So na me my mama born for suffer head abi? You try!”
“My money na for me, him money na our own! Yes oh, na so we dey do am for my house. No be him dem dey call ‘breadwinner’. Toh, make him win the bread dey go. Abeg free me oh! God forbid make I suffer work finish for one full month then I go go give one man. Who come be the man? Shuuuuu!!!”
Thunderous laughter everywhere, except my friend who is not contributing anything to the discussion and the other three at the table do not even notice her presence. They bask in the euphoria of their jist and claim to have gained mastery of their men and their homes. They click their glasses in ‘cheers’ to their achievements.
On our way home, Lizzy is unusually quiet.
“What’s the matter Liz? You’ve not said a word to me. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine dear. Nothing much.”
Liz gets home and walks into her house. A few things not arranged, plates in the sink etcetera. She decides to chat on WhatsApp and check out what’s up on facebook. Time passes and her husband is home.
After the hugs and kisses and usual welcoming, he notices the house is unusually untidy.
“Seems you just came back from the wedding?” Dear husband asks.
“Not really. What’s wrong?” Liz asks. Her thumb flipping her phone left and right, then bouncing up and down her android phone in response to a post.
“Or rather, I see you have been busy on your phone. What’s for dinner?”
“Hmmm…… I was not able to make anything before I left home and when I came back, I was so tired. Can we have indomie and eggs. I’ll try and fix a proper meal tomorrow.”
“Really? You were tired?” he questions looking at the phone in her hand.
“Yes. And I was also thinking………. Maybe, it’s high time we hired a maid.”
Dear husband is shocked, but just takes it all in. He wonders why they need a maid when his wife is not doing any formal job. He just walks into the room to undress.
Two hours later after the cooking and eating of the indomie and eggs, dear husband gets into bed to cuddle his wife.
She sighs and unknowingly moves his hand away.
“Temi, please not tonight. I’ve already told you that I’m tired. I really need to rest. Please try and understand.”
Dear husband persists further, trying his luck a second time. This time she sits up on the bed, looks straight at him and says:
“Temi, I said I’m tired. Ah ah! Do you now want to rape me?”
Dear husband looks at her completely taken aback.
Where was all this coming from?
Be careful what you pay attention to. A little harmless discussion, that you were not actively involved in, can influence your character and ruin your life, career or marriage. Remember your ears are one of the windows to your heart ♥.
…..guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life.
Photo credit: internet